Well, since Grouper started with the Scotsman jokles, I can add one here too....
Angus had tied one on at the Pub that night and was on his way home. Since he was walking more side to side than forwards, he decided to sit down on the log beside the road and take a little rest.
Needless to say, after consuming as much Scotch and beer as he did, he passed out cold and fell backwards over the log.
The next morning, two young lassies were walking to school and see a pair of burly legs sticking up over the log. They went to look and there lay Angus, still out cold, with his feet on the log.
One of the girls turned and whispered to the other, "I alays wannada know if it's really true dat the min donna wear nothin' unda der kilts. Whadda ya say we sneak a look on dis one while he's alayin there?"
So, the two quietly walk over and pick up the edge of Angus' kilt where, in true Scottish fashion, he's gone "copmmando" and is hanging out in all his glory.
The first lass looks at the second and says, "Woodaya look adda size uh dat!" Ina never seen notin like dat before!" The second looks and says, "Oh may, We godda do somdin for im for when he wakes up!", takes one of the little blue ribbons out of her hair, and carefully ties it around his... well, you know.....
The two then walk on to school whispering the whole way.
Later in the morning, the day is in full swing, it is starting to get warm, and Angus begins to wake up. The first thing he notices is that the sky is in the wrong place and he is NOT at home in bed. Standing up with a hang-over that would kill a horse, he begins to stumble on home, thinking about what a dressing down he is going to get when he gets home. He also realizes that he REALLY needs to pee.... So, he stumbles over to the side of the road, lifts up his kilt, looks down to begin positioning himself and sees the ribbon. He stands there a minute, staring at the ribbon on his pride and joy, begins to smile and then says, "Well, I dunno where ya been Laddie or whatcha been doin', but from da looks uh ya, at least ya won first prize!"
OK... It could be worse.... I am not sure how but it COULD be worse.....
