Pool Pervert

[Erik]

Originally Posted by Amphibious

I prefer the "hairy Strawberry" method.

Ahh, the famous 'Barking Pumpkin'
Peace,
Erik Y.

[Erik]

Levels of perversion are relative and have to be measured on a sliding scale.
"He without sin, may cast the first stone" and all that

Be honest with yourself now- think of the last time you were underwater in the pool and some hottie swam by... didn't you look, maybe just a little too long?

You did?

Pervert.
Peace,
Erik Y.

[Adrian]

Originally Posted by Erik

Hi guys, I haven't read the posts- someone PM'd and said there was a thread about me?

Peace,
Erik Y.

How did you know to post in this particular thread?

[superhornet59]

haha, yesterday i went to my local pool, i would take the brick and put it on my chest the facing up lie down on the bottom of the pool, and i had the best time blowing ring bubbles as people swam by, especialy when it hit there faces . and as some lady was passing i blew one and it hit her belly button area. she got pretty pissed off. apparently she believed i swam up, touched her belly, swam back to the bottom of the 10 foot pool, put a brick on my chest, all in a fraction of a second. that was fun

[Poida]

Great idea Erik

Perversion on a sliding scale!

I am going to invent a perversionometer that will be installed in all public swimming pools. Should anybody stare at anybody else for a cetain duration, taking in to account dribbling, dropping of jaw or exclamations such as God that is gorgeous!!, the perversionometer will immediately leave a stain next to the offending pool user making people believe he has pissed in the pool embarrasing him so much he will leave.

I will make a fortune.

It's good because I can piss in the pool and people will think I'm just perving.

You may think I am stupid.

BUT THE EARTH IS 2/3rds OCEAN AND YOU ARE SWIMMING IN A BLOODY POOL. HOW STUPID IS THAT!!

[iceselkie]

I just realized my reply was waaaay too long (I'm a lifeguard too). once i "accidentally" monofinned a guy bumping his lady friend in the pool during family swim once. he was embarrassed and left right away..

[unirdna]

Um, ladies, the men posting on this thread have alluded to what you need to know, but I feel that I must summarize and clarify. All men have perv potential (unless they've joined a cult and have had their beans removed). ALL MEN. Even that sensitive, wire-rimmed glasses, coffee-shop "friend" of yours. And your gay friend, who always looks into your eyes when he speaks to you.....turn him loose in downtown Amsterdam and see where his eyes are focused.

I just thought you should know.

The only difference between a civilized man and a perv is that a civilized man has found something to distract himself. Those [men] who say it's "mind over matter" - they are liars too. Trying to give their intelligence more credit than it deserves. No man's brain is that powerful. Purposeful distraction is the only remedy.

Here is an exercise to give you a better idea of how we 'click'

1. Think of the number 8
2. Now don't think of the number 8

................how did you do? You failed, miserably!

So here's how you beat it (no pun intended):

3. To stop thinking of the number 8, think of the number 7 ( or 3, 14, 62.439......whatever - just NOT the number 8)

See how it works? YOU (ladies) are the number 8! And when you are in a bikini, you are the number 8, lying on its side .
We [men] can not not think "improper" thoughts. But, we can think of something else.

So, now that I've said this, if you are still naive enough to think that I'm the perv, you are a fool. My keen self-awareness makes me one of the strong ones. It's the guy in denial you need to keep your eye on.

So, the next time you see a guy "staring into the sun" a bit longer than he should be, just say "HEY! Think of a different number!"

Good luck.
Ted

[Fondueset]

What number were we sposed to not think of?

[land shark]

"Computer! Compute to the last digit the order of pi!"
Mr Spock

[bennyboyler]

Unirdna - perfect explanation. Don't think I was ever in denial because I've always readily admitted to having two testicles. As you've detailed - we are who we are and most of what we do is based on or derived from our basic instinct as animals. Now, if a female finds that a given mans instinct in a pool repulsive (and he has genuinely crossed a line) - then I see no reason for that particular female to instinctively retort with whatever means necessary. All's fair in love and war.
Going back to what a lot of people have mentioned throughout this thread - what's the deal with practicing apnea in public swimming pools. I'm relatively new to it all (and loving it) and started when I was away on holiday, in the big blue. Now I'm back home, I've been doing what I can at the pool but am aware of 2 things. Firstly, that most people in there think I'm acting like a bit of a freak/perv (you know deep breathing at the end of the pool before disappearing under water) and...
Secondly, the life guards thinking I'm a complete freak and acting very uneasy around me. Maybe they just hate me or maybe I scare them slightly - I don't know. Either that or they think I think I'm some sort of wide boy trying to impress f*** knows who.
Is this sort of behaviour par for the course or do people take their life guards to one side and explain to them what it is they're trying to achieve by not breathing?

[iceselkie]

Actually, yes - I reccommend telling them what you are doing before you go into your apnea routine!

[portinfer]

"what we do is based on or derived from our basic instinct as animals..."

Yeah but I think there is a difference between animal lust and some sort of premeditated pattern of behaviour that is making this person feel uncomfortable - one is just like, I like you and my body/behaviour is showing it - the other is a bit more deviant.... hell, what do I know, last time I was in a pool I blacked out and had to be dragged out to the bar - think I'll stick to the sea - man. some of those mermaids are sweeeet

[NaturalBlue]

my story

i used to and still do train at the local pool and as my low budget sink weight i use a 8 pound dumbell. anyways over the summer the pool would hire college kid pool monitors (the equivolent of lifeguards only for legal reasons their job title is pool monitor so if something happened the no lifeguard present sign was always there and they didn't have to save a life only prevent the need to). anyways the summer inbetween my freshman and sophmore year of highschool the pool monitors would start bringing their girlfriends into the pool and sometimes bring booze *i suspected they had a few keggars before. well one summer night alone at the pool i was underwater for a minute already and i see a girl dive in *ya preety witty in a bikiny but i wasn't paying attention or anything just noticed the noise from the splash* 2 seconds later some big hunk of someone crashes on me from the top of the pool and grabs me by the shoulder close to the throat and my reaction to think that someone was trying to grab my throat was to throw my dumbell through the mist of bubbles that grabbed me then surface. he didn't surface and a panic reaction with the screaming girl was to go back under for him and help pull him to surface. he wasn't unconsious though i did hit him with the dumbell in the groin . however he was the pool monitor and he claimed i was perving on his girlfriend and threw me out of the pool.

however an hour later the police came to the pool to discover the pool monitor had started a private pool party with alcohol which went against a number of the pool rules nevermind private use of a public pool.

now that i think of it i shoulda filed assult charges against him but i was just a mellow highschooler at the time. also having won a fight infront of a sexy girl in a bikini all while underwater made me feel like a hero out of a movie when i realized it.

[BatRay]

That's a great way of putting it, Ted.

[Marwan]

i can totally relate to crusty's experience, when we were training water polo, often you would get women/girls to ""strategically"" time their pool appearance during practice hours. I never found that fair to me and my fellow teenager mates with awfully revealing speedos. The other problem was that the showers were out in the open so to add to the peep show, you'll be out there bathing infront of them, i mean the only thing missing is that someone walk up to one of us and slip a 50$ bill in your speedo , but then again we were of course perving in return .
What i Have found to be the funniest perving technique is actually in the sea not the pool, in the med up north, every summer someone gets into a fight for perving, the techinique is simple, the perv places himself strategically where they want to be and let the waves do the rest, claiming that it was an accidental bump, yeah right